5 Science-Backed Ways To Stop Your Stress From Spreading to Your Team (And Killing Performance)

Nov 10

I’ve seen countless new managers struggle with the same thing (myself included in my early leadership days), and they often don’t realize how much it’s impacting those around them: verbalizing their stress. In psychological research terms, this is more specifically known as “emotional contagion” - the idea that your emotions rub off on other people and in turn have a broad ripple effect across an entire team.

When I was a new manager, I felt that sharing the weight of the job made me more relatable and human to my team. I was building connections through vulnerability, right?

Like so many things in life, it’s possible for more than one thing to be true at once. While sharing your heart with your team can certainly build connection; a leader’s emotional state has a much deeper tie to performance than you’d think.

According to a 2022 Danish workplace study, it turns out that a leader’s emotional state can impact team performance not just in the moment, but for up to an entire year afterward.

If you knew that your emotional state would impact your team’s performance not just for the next 12 hours, but the next 12 months - what would you do differently?

Why Emotional Regulation Matters

The truth is, being a leader is hard. And stressful. It feels impossible to juggle all the balls in the air at once AND do it with grace. But research tells us that emotional regulation is the lynchpin to your team’s performance, and maintaining your own sanity.

Studies show that emotional state spreads physiologically to those around you: through things like neurobiological pathways (known as mirror neurons), respiratory patterns, and heart rate. Translation: Your emotions dictate your own physiology, and you show up emotionally literally changes the physical state of those around you.

And this isn’t just about what you say, because about 93% of this communication and synchronization comes from nonverbal means - think body language, facial expressions, how you’re breathing and carrying yourself.

But there’s good news - just like stress can spread across a group; so can calm and positivity. It’s all about getting yourself right first, so you can let science work in your favor to produce better outcomes across your entire team.

Why Businesses Should Care

To put it bluntly: helping leaders learn to keep their emotions in check isn’t just an employee wellness benefit. Data actually shows it has a direct impact to your bottom line.

Here are some data points to consider:

87% of Fortune 500 companies now offer formal wellness initiatives, with 95% of them reporting positive impacts from these investments across employee engagement, productivity and retention.
Companies with comprehensive wellness strategies see a 2.5x return on investment from improved productivity and lower absenteeism. Organizations typically see a $4 return for every dollar invested in employee wellness and mental health support.

5 Proven Methods to Regulate Your Emotional State

Lucky for all of us, there are things we can do to get our emotional state right, and in turn regulate those around us:

1) 30-Second Cyclic Sigh Reset

Think 30 solid seconds alone to take deep breaths and let out a good long sigh. Sounds silly, but if Stanford says it works, I’m in.

2) Embody a Growth Mindset with How You Speak

This one takes some intentionality. When something doesn't go as expected, establish a growth and learning culture with some subtle language changes. Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset shows that language focused on learning and development creates more engaged teams and better long-term performance outcomes. When something doesn’t go as expected, establish a growth and learning culture with some subtle changes:

Instead of “What went wrong here?” ask “What did we learn from this situation?”
Instead of “Who dropped the ball on this?” ask “Where can we improve communication and expectations next time?”
Instead of “Why do we always struggle in this area?” try “What are the ways we can improve in this area?”

It may seem subtle, but it has a big impact on your own perspective and that of your team, too.

3) Master Your Body Language

Your nonverbal communication triggers physiological responses in your team. Research shows that 93% of leadership impact comes through body language, and changing your physical presence also reduces your own stress levels, too:

Crossed Arms: Signals defensiveness and resistance, even when you're just comfortable. Keep arms uncrossed and visible.
Body Orientation: Your brain processes priorities based on where your body faces. Angling away from someone while talking suggests their time isn't important.
Facial Tension: Furrowed brows and forced smiles put people on guard. Aim for natural engagement. If you have a serious resting expression, acknowledge it briefly.
Hunched Posture: Communicates exhaustion and sends a "we're all drowning" message to your team. Maintain open chest and shoulders.
Device Checking: Looking at phones, messages, or watches mid-conversation clearly signals you're too busy for the person in front of you.

4) Rethink Your Responsiveness

There is absolutely nothing wrong with going intentionally offline every once in a while. In fact, always being on and available actually sends a message to your team that they need to be constantly on and available, too. Consider these two calendar adjustments to set boundaries around your time:

Establish daily “office hours” when your team can come to you with any non-urgent issues or questions. And the key is, don’t jump to answer one-off questions outside of that window of time.
Set clear boundaries for when you will intentionally be offline, and stick to them.

5) Build Your Emotional Vocabulary Beyond “Busy” and “Stressed”

When you can precisely name what you're experiencing, you can regulate it more effectively. Research from Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence shows that leaders who develop precision in naming emotions (a.k.a. Expanding their self-description beyond 'stressed' and 'fine') gain better emotional regulation and team communication.

Before entering high-stakes conversations, take 30 seconds to identify your specific emotional state. This simple practice prevents generic stress reactions and enables targeted responses.

In other words, you don’t have to share your specific emotions to see the benefits. Simply self-identifying and specific labeling of how you feel activates your prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate your system’s stress response. Think of it this way - is it easier to fix things with just a single hammer, or an entire box of tools?

TL/DR: Self-Regulating Your Own Stress Helps Your Team to Do the Same

The research is clear: your emotional regulation isn't just personal wellness; it's a business and leadership strategy. When you master these five techniques, you're both managing your own stress and creating an environment where your team can perform at their best.

The leaders who understand this know that the only way to drive lasting success, balance and longevity in their teams is by starting with themselves.

Ready to turn your emotional intelligence into a competitive advantage? I work with mid-career leaders who want to build high-performing teams without burning themselves out. If you're ready to master the skills that create both better results and better workplace relationships, let's talk about how emotional regulation can transform your leadership, and your team's performance.